caisinmedegasblues started foolloowing yoou
helloo helloo uvu hoow are yoou?
♪just DoinG thE FuCkinG thinG, you DiG?
…
i…
what??
ovo;?
♪you know
♪EvEryBoDy’s Got thEir own BEAt
♪i’m just strumminG AlonG to my own
> Kasane: Look outside
You can’t believe this is happening. You can’t believe a lot of things right now. Your anger has a terrible grasp on you. This is sweeps upon sweeps of self loathing, self directed anger, lots of things coming to the surface. You can’t believe yourself right now. In a moment of lucidity, you push her away, but your hand catches her face, scratching her right down her face. Immediately you regret everything.
♪oh FuCk i DiDn’t mEAn to Do thAt! shit shit shit shit shit shit shit i’m so sorry!
You stand there awkwardly, tears welling in your eyes. You screwed up now, Caisin. If you have never screwed up before, now was the time that you did.
He scratched you harder than you’d imagined and you shrieked as you fell back onto the sofa, covering your face, trying to hide the two wide blue lines that now formed upon your face. You were shaking hard. You hadn’t expected that at all. Your face stung because you were bleeding from the wounds and it was getting into your eyes and mouth.
You didn’t say anything. You were just shaking and trying to hold back tears. God damnit, it hurt, it hurt, it HURT…..
After a while, you finally look up at him, nasty blood-and-tear-covered face and all. You don’t say anything to him. You just keep staring at him, with a look as if to say ‘I’m sorry’.
You can’t believe yourself right now. You were expecting a vicious counter attack, some strong words, her kicking you out, something. Instead, you were treated to the most goddamn apologetic look you had ever seen. Your jaw drops, tears welling in your eyes. This is pretty much the lowest you’ve ever felt.
♪i-i’m sorry
That’s all you can manage to squeak out. You have never hated yourself more than you do right now. You can’t even say anything else before you find yourself bolting for the door.
> Kasane: Look outside
♪you know whAt i rEAlly wAnt?
You stand up, cold as ice. The light is only exacerbating things. That purple hue. It was unnatural. You definitely didn’t feel in your element.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i rEAlly wAnt
You throw your arms out by either side. It probably was nothing, but that light just made you feel like this was a calling, something you were supposed to do.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i wAnt, whAt i rEAlly, rEAlly wAnt
You close the distance between the two of you, grabbing her by her shirt, holding her face close to yours.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i wAnt, whAt i rEAlly, rEAlly wAnt!
The way he said that and the way things went in the next moment was really, really, really unnerving. It was almost like you didn’t want him to tell you what he wants (what he really really wants). He had suddenly pulled you up to him and you felt really uncomfortable. You think he might have gone mad and you’re a little bit scared right now. But you decide to ask anyways.
“weLL….wh&t do you w&nt?” you gulp, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of regret after you choke that out.
You can’t believe this is happening. You can’t believe a lot of things right now. Your anger has a terrible grasp on you. This is sweeps upon sweeps of self loathing, self directed anger, lots of things coming to the surface. You can’t believe yourself right now. In a moment of lucidity, you push her away, but your hand catches her face, scratching her right down her face. Immediately you regret everything.
♪oh FuCk i DiDn’t mEAn to Do thAt! shit shit shit shit shit shit shit i’m so sorry!
You stand there awkwardly, tears welling in your eyes. You screwed up now, Caisin. If you have never screwed up before, now was the time that you did.
> Kasane: Look outside
Your eyebrows furrow in anger, a nasty scoff leaving you.
♪yEAh, i Got thAt you Dont Do thAt. you just tolD mE. i’m not FuCkinG stupiD.
You’re not really yourself right now. You suppose it’s the constant deprivation of what you want, or how you suppose the quadrants you want to get filled never go along. It’s all kind of funny in a sick way.
♪wEll i supposE i Could Go For somEthinG At lEAst. shit. i Dont FuCkinG know.
You tighten into yourself a little bit. You were rather uncomfortable in your own skin right now, stemming possibly from the intense anger that boiled up from your digestion sac.
You kind of feel weird. All of this quadrant business is making you a little dizzy inside. You felt some sort of tingling in your left ear, as well, though you were almost certain nothing was wrong. Maybe that was your future-ish senses tingling?
Whatever. You decide to ignore this and face the music.
“so…wh&t do you fEEl comfort&ble with? i me&n, besides TH&T, im preTTy much ok with &nything.” You press your fingers together and purse your lips, another innocent, inquisitive look returning to your face. The purplish light from the outside beams into the room, tinting it juuuust a little bit lavender. While usually this relaxed you, it made you feel a bit unnerved as of right now.
♪you know whAt i rEAlly wAnt?
You stand up, cold as ice. The light is only exacerbating things. That purple hue. It was unnatural. You definitely didn’t feel in your element.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i rEAlly wAnt
You throw your arms out by either side. It probably was nothing, but that light just made you feel like this was a calling, something you were supposed to do.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i wAnt, whAt i rEAlly, rEAlly wAnt
You close the distance between the two of you, grabbing her by her shirt, holding her face close to yours.
♪i’ll tEll you whAt i wAnt, whAt i rEAlly, rEAlly wAnt!
> Kasane: Look outside
You let out a sigh of relief and sit back down on the sofa, one hand on top of the other. Well, shit, you had no idea what to say now, even though you kinda-sorta persuaded him to say. You have a really really REALLY nasty feeling that things might be getting ugly in just a moment, but you shake that off and tap your fingers against the palm of your other hand, completely unaware of what to say.
“so, erm…lOOk, i re&LLy c&n’t do bl&ckrom. you &ren’t revolting &t &LL, it’s just, weLL, my own person&l re&sons. but i c&n seTTle for moir&LLegi&nce, or….”
Yeah, getting the other part out was kind of hard. You have no idea what a matesprit would be like with this guy and since he’s already hinted that he’s eyed you as a potential kismesis, you’re not sure you want to spit that out.
Your eyebrows furrow in anger, a nasty scoff leaving you.
♪yEAh, i Got thAt you Dont Do thAt. you just tolD mE. i’m not FuCkinG stupiD.
You’re not really yourself right now. You suppose it’s the constant deprivation of what you want, or how you suppose the quadrants you want to get filled never go along. It’s all kind of funny in a sick way.
♪wEll i supposE i Could Go For somEthinG At lEAst. shit. i Dont FuCkinG know.
You tighten into yourself a little bit. You were rather uncomfortable in your own skin right now, stemming possibly from the intense anger that boiled up from your digestion sac.
> Kasane: Look outside
You don’t get it. Not one bit. How does a troll even go against the natural calling to fill all their quadrants? It doesn’t make any sense to you, but you decide not to press the matter. It’s all so stupid anyways. Everything is stupid. Especially you. Oh, and there goes that thinking again. You don’t really like it when you think like that. You do bad things when you think like that.
♪kEEP your ApoloGiEs. i Dont EvEn CArE AnymorE. its whAtEvEr, rEAlly. i Couldnt CArE lEss AnymorE. mAyBE ill just Go BACk to thAt GoDDAmn lAnD oF minE AnD Do somE shit thErE or somEthinG.
Your ears start drooping and you try to look for some good reason to let him stay and make him happy. And then your mind drifts to quadrants. You admit that you’ve thought about the ashen quadrant way too many times before and…er…the things trolls do in said quadrant, but it didn’t hurt anyone. Either way, you didn’t want to seem like a huge tool by changing your mind THAT quickly. You did have red feelings for Caisin once, after all.
That suddenly hit you.
You stand up and grab his arm with a pleading look in your eyes. “w&it! i…i h&d…uMM…weLL, you sEE, i used to h&ve rom&ntic fEElings for you tOO…&nd i gueSS i stiLL do…but i c&n’t figure it out…just…ple&se don’t go, ok&y?”
You suddenly feel like you failed that explanation big time.
♪yEAh, A littlE lAtE For thAt
♪But you know whAT? its whAtEvEr. i CAmE All this wAy, i miGht As wEll stAy
You take your seat back, one leg crossed over the other. You’re seething right now, but you let your own feelings on the back burner. You did come all the way out here. You might as well get your time’s worth.
CAisin’s BLuEs: gentlelyricist: CAisin’s BLuEs: > Kasane: Look outside gentlelyricist:…
CAisin’s BLuEs: > Kasane: Look outside
You take a seat opposite of her, crossing your arms over your chest. She just seems completely intent on getting a reason out of you, huh? You don’t really appreciate it, but you can’t…
You feel like a huge douchebag. A really huge douchebag. But you know you can’t go against your way! You promised your lusus you would never indulge in blackrom. You kind of feel bad for Caisin, though.
“i’m re&LLy soRRy, but i promised my lusus i wouldn’t ch&se &fter bl&ckrom! I-i me&n, i &m re&LLy surprised you could like me like th&t, but ple&se underst&nd…”
You don’t get it. Not one bit. How does a troll even go against the natural calling to fill all their quadrants? It doesn’t make any sense to you, but you decide not to press the matter. It’s all so stupid anyways. Everything is stupid. Especially you. Oh, and there goes that thinking again. You don’t really like it when you think like that. You do bad things when you think like that.
♪kEEP your ApoloGiEs. i Dont EvEn CArE AnymorE. its whAtEvEr, rEAlly. i Couldnt CArE lEss AnymorE. mAyBE ill just Go BACk to thAt GoDDAmn lAnD oF minE AnD Do somE shit thErE or somEthinG.
CAisin’s BLuEs: > Kasane: Look outside
You take a seat opposite of her, crossing your arms over your chest. She just seems completely intent on getting a reason out of you, huh? You don’t really appreciate it, but you can’t help the burning feeling in your bloodpusher. You just sigh and…
You were about to be touched by this sudden confession, up until he mentioned that word. Your eyes widened, you let out a shrill gasp and you fell back with your hand clutching your chest, as if you just witnessed something horrifying. You did, however, HEAR something horrifying, and you weren’t going to let that stand, but you felt like you should deal with this in the nicest way possible.
A worried look washed over your face and you averted your eyes to the floor frantically, looking for the right words. “lOOk, um, i’m fl&TTered &nd &ll, but i think it should be known th&t i’m strictly….&g&inst…….bl&ckrom?” You try to look up at him as you sputter out the last part, because even saying it made you a little sick inside. God, did the mood change quickly, and you ha- kind of disliked it. Maybe you shouldn’t have pressed on.
Oh, of course. She would be. Juuuuust like everything else that never works out for you. You scoff. This went over just as well as you thought it would. You clap your hands slowly, a bit of blue splattering here and there as you do.
♪wEll isnt thAt just FuCkinG wonDErFul
♪lEts sEE whAt thE tAlly is hErE
♪onE DEAD lusus
♪ABsolutEly no quADrAnts AnD not For A lACk oF tryinG
♪AnD onE ConFEssion thAts so FuCkinG rEpuGnAnt you Go FuCkinG rEElinG For somE GoDDAmn CovEr
♪Am i rEAlly All thAt BAD?
♪CAnt you just try?
> Kasane: Look outside
You take a seat opposite of her, crossing your arms over your chest. She just seems completely intent on getting a reason out of you, huh? You don’t really appreciate it, but you can’t help the burning feeling in your bloodpusher. You just sigh and look the other way.
♪look CAnt wE just tAlk ABout somEthinG ElsE instEAD or somEthinG?
♪i’m not EntirEly ComFortABlE with thisYou lean forward. Okay, now you’re really curious, and you really want to get it out of him. You decide to fake a look of hurt- you even did the barkbeast eyes and pout.
“come on, you didn’t just come here to st&rt c&su&l ch&t with me, now, did you? lOOk, wh&tever it is, you c&n teLL me. i promise i’LL kEEp it & secret if it’s th&t b&d. croSS my coLL&sping &nd exp&nding bl&DDer b&sed v&scul&r system!” You trace an X over where said vascular system is with a big smile.
Oh, did that piss you off. You suddenly stand, pushing your sunglasses back up on your face. Your teeth are grit tight, your hands clenched in fists, your nails digging into your flesh and causing some of your blue blood to drip down.
♪i Dont wAnt to FuckinG tAlk ABout it But if its rEAlly thAt importAnt thEn i GuEss i’vE Got no ChoiCE
♪i’vE Got romAntiC FEElinGs For you ok? AnD thEy’rE quiCkly turninG BlACk
